More Leaders Please. 2 Feb 2010

I’ve been under a bit of stress lately but don’t assume it’s with a negative connotation so quickly, because some stress can be a good thing. My particular case, here in my 6^th month of volunteering, is once again, knowing my role. This time, however, it is from a different angle. I have busied myself with planning youth group on a Sunday night, Bible classes for BB and GB, and Bible Study for Tuesday morning. Results have been that numbers of attendance have grown, which to anyone might sound like a good thing. And it is. But with more numbers comes more responsibility and that’s what’s got me a bit stressed. I enjoy helping out with the youth and connecting with them to cultivate growth and nurturing, but I realize that as important as that is in the short run, if we are going to maintain that quality of involvement we’re going to need more leaders in the long run. As we’ve been experimenting with group dynamics in the past months we’ve found that the smaller number of kids you have per group, in general, usually results in better communication and understanding. Further we’ve sorted by age and maturity so that each group can receive the message at their level of comprehension.

But with all the work that’s gone into coming to these conclusions I’ve lost sight of some bigger picture issues like: We’re in Northern Ireland!; where people who identify themselves as Catholic or Protestant still have some scars to be healed. I’ve been working so long on the individual level that I had left out thinking about how these lessons could specifically help out in their larger community. I felt like I had my eyes closed while I was dancing on a floor scattered with pins and needles. No wonder we’re here for at least a year, because it takes you at least this long just to realize and appreciate how many dynamics you’re working within. It’s enough to make your head spin (and so it has mine). ((and yes, earlier I ended a sentence with a preposition, so what?))

I’ve grown in my faith and character here as well. For instance: knowing who I am in Christ. I am Stephen Cottingham, 23 years old, 6’ and 180lb(depending on how long the party goes). I can help with the leadership roles of the youth group. I can offer ideas for how to organize and run the youth program. I can be a listening ear for those who need to talk to someone. I can give you most anything I have that you ask me for because it’s out of the abundance of that which I have been given. But I couldn’t do any of these things without the Holy Spirit and Christ’s body – the church. And so it is because I’ve come to this realization that I know that I must not be the sole dependent factor in which the youth get led. In the same way that we need to continue nurturing the youth we also need to cultivate those who would lead the youth. Most people get really energized about supporting the youth but it seems like they lose a bit a of steam when it comes to ‘Who’s gonna sign up to lead?’ Ask what you can do to help out with the youth program close to you because I think it would be rare to find a program that says, “No thanks, we’ve got it all sorted.”

My plan is to make the youth more visible to the congregation, currently, in terms of youth led worship and a monthly slideshow presentation to display what the kids have done over the past month. This, I feel, might help to bridge more relationship between the age gaps and shed that anxiety some get because we think we’re faced with a mountain of responsibility and we don’t know what to expect or how to handle it. The truth is we’re responsible anyway, so if we can just knock that anxiety mountain down in our heads and crumble those things that might keep us from embracing and seeking out to help the youth, we can make a difference.

~Phen

Grin-and-bear-it

I went to a men’s conference a while back. The whole day consisted of inspirational keynote speakers and worship and engaging seminars. I was on the spiritual mountain top along with 2000 other men from all around the UK. So, I decided, with my other friends there, that we need to take what we’ve learned here and share it back at the church so that all can join in on the experience. Great intensions no doubt. However, when I organized my notes and gave a small talk during church service, my efforts and enthusiasm seemed to go over as mere novelty. Obviously I understand that they’re not going to as taken profoundly as I was, because my unique experience came from a conference they never attended. However, in my earnestness to share with them the power and necessity of prayer, I came across a trend of perception towards prayer that I realize now I had been a part of…until now.

We offered prayer for those you wished after the service was over in the sanctuary; But, I didn’t hold any expectations so as not to be surprised or disappointed. A few came, I went around and invited some others. But the expressions or comments I received was: “oh, no thanks, I’m alright” or “no thanks, I’ve got to go do something else.” Prayer was something that you only did when something was wrong…or so it seemed. And I remember that being the case with my self. I went through life happy as a clam and then when tragedy strikes all-the-sudden, my religion becomes all the more important. What I learned in this church/culture is that even when that same tragedy strikes, you don’t always talk about it to others. You keep it under the rug until it sorts itself out. You grin-and-bear-it. No wonder people weren’t coming up for prayer afterwards. Prayers to God, the really tough stuff, the intimate stuff, the embarrassing stuff, the taboo stuff, that all stays in private. The fear of being alienated or feeling judged stops us from opening up because we know people will talk (aside from those that will keep it confidential). We worry so much about what other people think about us that we sometimes forget where to draw the line between living up to societal standards and having a healthy release of our troubles, addictions, and scandalous behavior.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying next time we go to church we have to spiritually spew out all our intimate details to the prayer team (although it’s a place you can). But at the same time I am saying that the human experience is not something we go alone. It is more likely that when we open up and share our prayers and concerns that we will find support and someone that can relate rather than not.

Prayer wasn’t always something I was very good at. In fact, I’m still learning about the differences in small groups personal prayers and leading an entire congregation in prayer. But prayer means something different to me now than it used to. It doesn’t depend on how I feel at the particular moment but rather my sincerity and honesty with myself and God. I feel like even the word ‘prayer’ has become so much of a religious term that people shy away from it because they don’t know how to handle it. (like me) Once I realized that prayer was simply communication between me and God it because easier to think of it in terms of conversation with a father, a best friend, someone who knows and loves you very deeply. If it makes sense, prayer is a big deal you don’t need to make a big deal about it. God is unshockable. I suppose that if we are going to follow Jesus and call ourselves his church then we need also adopt the unshockable characteristic that responds to the outcast with love and forgiveness rather than banishment and gossip.

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