Grin-and-bear-it

I went to a men’s conference a while back. The whole day consisted of inspirational keynote speakers and worship and engaging seminars. I was on the spiritual mountain top along with 2000 other men from all around the UK. So, I decided, with my other friends there, that we need to take what we’ve learned here and share it back at the church so that all can join in on the experience. Great intensions no doubt. However, when I organized my notes and gave a small talk during church service, my efforts and enthusiasm seemed to go over as mere novelty. Obviously I understand that they’re not going to as taken profoundly as I was, because my unique experience came from a conference they never attended. However, in my earnestness to share with them the power and necessity of prayer, I came across a trend of perception towards prayer that I realize now I had been a part of…until now.

We offered prayer for those you wished after the service was over in the sanctuary; But, I didn’t hold any expectations so as not to be surprised or disappointed. A few came, I went around and invited some others. But the expressions or comments I received was: “oh, no thanks, I’m alright” or “no thanks, I’ve got to go do something else.” Prayer was something that you only did when something was wrong…or so it seemed. And I remember that being the case with my self. I went through life happy as a clam and then when tragedy strikes all-the-sudden, my religion becomes all the more important. What I learned in this church/culture is that even when that same tragedy strikes, you don’t always talk about it to others. You keep it under the rug until it sorts itself out. You grin-and-bear-it. No wonder people weren’t coming up for prayer afterwards. Prayers to God, the really tough stuff, the intimate stuff, the embarrassing stuff, the taboo stuff, that all stays in private. The fear of being alienated or feeling judged stops us from opening up because we know people will talk (aside from those that will keep it confidential). We worry so much about what other people think about us that we sometimes forget where to draw the line between living up to societal standards and having a healthy release of our troubles, addictions, and scandalous behavior.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying next time we go to church we have to spiritually spew out all our intimate details to the prayer team (although it’s a place you can). But at the same time I am saying that the human experience is not something we go alone. It is more likely that when we open up and share our prayers and concerns that we will find support and someone that can relate rather than not.

Prayer wasn’t always something I was very good at. In fact, I’m still learning about the differences in small groups personal prayers and leading an entire congregation in prayer. But prayer means something different to me now than it used to. It doesn’t depend on how I feel at the particular moment but rather my sincerity and honesty with myself and God. I feel like even the word ‘prayer’ has become so much of a religious term that people shy away from it because they don’t know how to handle it. (like me) Once I realized that prayer was simply communication between me and God it because easier to think of it in terms of conversation with a father, a best friend, someone who knows and loves you very deeply. If it makes sense, prayer is a big deal you don’t need to make a big deal about it. God is unshockable. I suppose that if we are going to follow Jesus and call ourselves his church then we need also adopt the unshockable characteristic that responds to the outcast with love and forgiveness rather than banishment and gossip.